This is not going into the manifesto jam because it’s more of a goof but at the same time I do get excited about this stuff anytime it shows up so maybe it’s entirely serious.

A Moose – Well yeah, obviously. Playing as a moose is the best part of Wacky Wheels and Moose Life is one of the best Llamasoft games.

That song from The Incredible Machine 2 – Maybe you can’t get this exact song for licensing reasons but throw a New Age song into your game. Your players will thank you.

FMV – Doesn’t have to be a lot. You don’t need to get Malcolm McDowell in your video game. Even a tiny bit of stock footage of a train will make me happy.

Samples, possibly unlicensed – I love all the samples that show up repeatedly in Llamasoft’s games. I feel like some of them are maybe unlicensed but clearly no one has said anything yet because they keep popping up. Build up a nice little library of sound effects and other assets that you keep throwing into your games and people can recognize. Folks get annoyed about asset reuse and they’re wrong and should be pushed into a volcano.

Each chapter ending with the player hanging out in a homoerotic hunt club – Maybe some explanation for this one. We all love the Hunt Club in Gabriel Knight 2 but I understand if you don’t want your player character needing to talk to any hunting enthusiasts or shitty libertarians, but I do really like when games have the player coming back to the same place to hang out with other characters so more of that please. It should also be gay.

Someone that taunts you – Your game should have some kind of asshole that keeps taunting you like Rudy in Funhouse or Sinistar.

Someone that hangs out – There should also be someone that’s just hanging out near the beginning of your game but doesn’t do a whole lot. Maybe they give advice if the player is stuck. You probably can’t license Peter Gabriel for your person that hangs out but they should probably be listening to music or reading.

Things It Should Not Have

AI usage – Even code. You’re still wasting massive amounts of energy and polluting communities if you use AI for coding. Fuck you, I won’t play your game.